Christmas: In Hindsight

Well, my Christmas was sub-par to say the least. I guess I should have expected the "holiday blues" to kick in, but I really wasn't prepared for it. Once Christmas Eve rolled around, and I was sitting in a training session for 3 hours before working into the night, I realized, "This pretty much sucks." Then rolling out of bed on Christmas morning exhausted and heading off to teach again was also less-than-joyful. Though I was able to catch the afterglow of my friend's Christmas party, I was very tired and needed to head home early to sleep before waking early to catch the skype call with my family before work. That was indeed the best part of the holiday. My whole family gathered around the computer and opening the presents I'd sent them, and watching me open the presents they'd sent me. I realized yet again how blessed I am to have such an amazing family, who would organize their whole day to spend some precious time with me. I am very, very thankful for that.

I am also thankful to my new friend Chohee who I met in my yoga class, and who left a present for me with my doorman which I opened a few days after Christmas. In it, with the very sweet present she'd bought, she had enclosed 4 cards which she had lovingly decorated. One of them had the verse, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." (Jeremiah 83:3) She had no idea how grounded in all the workaday blah-blah stuff I had been feeling, how lonely, how unmysterious and grey everything had been seeming. She reminded me to look up - life is about more than what we see. Sometimes it's about more than what we experience. God was calling me through that blessed little card to be absorbed in him for a while and listen for the "great and unsearchable" things. He has been reminding me that he's leading me, he is always there, and that there are blessings to be experienced everywhere - sometimes we just need to open different eyes to see them.

And in the end, Christmas is not about gifts, or even about being with loved ones (although those things are extraordinarily good), but it's really about remembering what we have in Christ Jesus and his death and resurrection. When we belive in him, we have new life. We have the same spirit living in us that raised Christ from the dead. We have strength even in our weakness. We have love when we feel loveless, hope when all seems hopeless. We have the only perfect parent, the one who promises, "I will never leave you nor forsake you," and who promises, "I am with you always until the end of the age." Another of Chohee's cards said, "He is always with you, everytime, everywhere." It's not grammatically perfect, but the sentiment is so true. He is. He truly is. And once over the hump of grumpiness and self-pity, I am very grateful for this.

Now to see how grateful and unself-pitying I can be when working 14 hours on New Year's Eve, and all day New Year's Day. To see how open my eyes are to his blessings... I am trying... I really am.